FORGET ME NOT FAMILY SOCIETY 2021 AGM
NOVEMBER 17th 2021
Good evening everyone and welcome to the FMNFS’s 2021 Annual
General Meeting once again on ZOOM. It’s hard to believe it’s been
almost a year since we held our first one using this format. Who
would have thought that we would still be in the midst of the
pandemic? I can’t wait for more normal times when we are able to
meet in person and feel safe doing so. I want to thank you for
spending some of your evening with us.
The Society continues to be in a care taking mode that has been
ongoing since 2017. In the past year the Board hasn’t had any
meetings and any discussions have taken place via email.
At our AGM our Board and Executive remained the same with
Bernadette Rymer as Vice President, Gail Treasurer, Rian Martin as
Secretary with Amy Newman and Steve Ell as Directors. Thank you
again for your continued support and work in helping keep the Forget
Me Not Family Society still up and running.
Sadly in January of this year Rian Martin passed away. It’s still hard
to believe he’s gone. Rian was a large and much loved presence on
the Board and at in person meetings and workshops. Personally I
enjoyed many phone conversations with Rian and always loved when
he would call. He always said, “Marnie, it’s Rian…”. That memory
makes me smile.
Nancy Kato and I have continued on with our monthly ZOOM support
groups which are well attended and have been much appreciate by
those that have joined in on them. We still are receiving lots of emails
and phone calls in regard to what we do and asking for help and
support as others negotiate their reunion journeys.
Steve and Amy, thanks so much for your continued support with the
Society. Amy I also want to thank you for your work on the website,
the updates are always done in a very timely manner. And, thanks
also for your help in fielding some of the emails that we get to the
Bernadette I appreciate knowing that you are working so hard in the
role of activist. The time you spend is endless and you are making
huge changes! In doing so you are putting the FMNFS on the map in
very important ways. Well done Ms Vice President!
Gail, as always having you are our right hand lady and keeping us all
on track. Thank you for keeping our financials in order, our
membership list up to date and those yearly membership reminders
all in place. You quietly keep us going and your work is very very
appreciated by me and the rest of the Board!
As I said last year, what is missing the most at this AGM are the hugs
and the in person conversations. Let’s cross our fingers that next
year will be one where we can all feel comfortable meeting in person.
Thank you to everyone for continuing to support the Forget Me Not
Family Society by renewing your memberships and by caring for your
family here in the Society.
Marnie Tetz, President FMNFS
November 17th, 2021
FORGET ME NOT FAMILY SOCIETY 2020 AGM
NOVEMBER 21st, 2020
Good morning everyone and welcome to the FMNFS’s 2020 Annual General Meeting on ZOOM! Wow, who ever would have thought that we would be holding our AGM via ZOOM because of a global pandemic. When we discussed the AGM and the date it would be held, back in March none of us had any clue how this year was going to go or that it would mean staying apart to stay together. I hope all of you have managed to keep your sanity in these unimaginable times. We appreciate you taking the time to spend some of your Saturday morning with us.
The Society has continued on in the care taking mode that we took on in 2017. The Board has met twice this year, in February and then again in March. And also continue to be in touch when there is something needing to be discussed.
At our AGM last year we had a solid Board step forward of returning Directors, Amy Newman, Rian Martin and Steve Ell. The Executive remained the same with Gail Davies returning as Secretary/Treasurer, Bernadette Rymer as Vice President and moi as President. Thank you all for another year of support and work on keeping the Forget Me Not still up and running.
We did hold a workshop in November at the White Spot in Aldergrove. Catherine Moore was our presenter to a sold out 1 day event entitled FINDING PEACE IN YOUR REUNION. Catherine mixed some meditation with discussions on what reunion means to us, what our definition of a successful reunion is and how to deal with the challenges and how to find peace when our reunion doesn’t turn out as we had planned. It was so good to see so many old familiar faces and to get caught up. Thanks to those that came from the interior and the island to join us. It was a pleasure to have Catherine lead us on that day.
We are still continuing to hold our support groups. Since this report is for our year ending January 31st, 2020, those support groups had continued in the before time way of meeting in person. Nancy Kato’s group at the public library in New Westminster and my group in Abbotsford at Crossroads Restaurant.
We continue to respond to phone and email questions.
As always my favourite part of the AGM is thanking our Board for the support that they give to the Forget Me Not Family Society.
Steve, Amy and Rian, thanks for always being the supportive Directors that you are, responding to the emails that need your input and in doing so in the timely manner that you all do. Amy thanks for not only doing what you do as a Director but for also looking after the tech side of the website. You always respond quickly when asked to update information on the site and that is invaluable. As well as helping field emails to the website.
Bernadette as always your support is very appreciated. You have been busy in the last few years working on the documentary Mum’s the Word as well as with all your meetings with the Archdiocese in Vancouver. Thank you so much my friend for all that you bring to the FMNFS.
And as always…Gail! THANK YOU for all that you continue to do for us. I realize that this past year has been tough for you personally and continues to be stressful for you. You had asked for help in the role of Secretary, and Rian gave it the old college try. (thanks Rian!). You still do the membership reminders keeping tabs on who needs to renew and when. And you look after the financial end with what appears such ease. None of us ever think about it twice as we know that you will just do what needs doing and never do we have to worry that what needs to be filed and when with the Government to maintain our non-profit status. Thank you my friend for staying on and keeping me in line!
What I really miss today are the hugs and the in person conversations that I so enjoy, as I know everyone does.
Thank you to everyone for continuing to support the Forget Me Not Family Society by renewing your memberships and by caring for your family here in the Society.
Marnie Tetz, President FMNFS
November 21st, 2020
FORGET ME NOT FAMILY SOCIETY
For the period Feb 1, 2018 – Jan. 31, 2019
Presented April 27, 2019
Good morning everyone and welcome to the FMNFS’s 2019 Annual General Meeting! We appreciate that you have decided to join us for this meeting and then we hope you will join us for lunch afterwards.
The Society has continued on in the care taking mode that we took on in 2017. The Board has met once this past year as was agreed upon. At this meeting we discussed the possibility of holding a workshop in the fall of 2019. Gail also brought us up to date on our financial situation and our membership.
At our AGM last year we had a solid Board step forward of returning Directors, Amy Newman, Rian Martin and Steve Ell. The Executive remained the same with old timers Gail returning as Secretary/Treasurer and Bernadette Rymer as our Vice President. I also returned as President. Thank you to each of you!
We didn’t have a chance to hold any luncheons this year as travel plans got in the way of luncheon plans. Hopefully this coming year we will have at least one social event.
We are still holding 2 support group meetings a month. Nancy man’s the New Westminster Support Group which has had some challenges with a couple of date and venue changes. Fortunately starting in May of 2019 the meetings will be returning to the public library in New West, but the day it is held will be changing, it will be held the 2nd Tuesday of each month. The Eastern Fraser Valley Support Group has found a home at Crossroads Restaurant in Abbotsford. We meet once a month, weather permitting, for a dinner meeting where we socialize and then share what’s going on with our journey. We have had a few new people attend as well.
Our phone has definitely brought us new people this past year. We have also been found online through our website and have had several inquiries asking for how support can be found. We are still being found and there is still a need.
It is now my pleasure to thank our Board and Executive for the support that they give to the FMNFS. Bernadette thank you for once again stepping up and continuing on as our Vice President. It’s so good to know that there is a solid right arm beside me! Gail, as always you look after our financials, file the paperwork that is necessary in order for us to maintain our non-profit designation and keeping track of our membership with your reminders. Amy once again you have maintained our website and added updates as they have been sent to you. Rian, thanks for your continued support with whatever we are discussing and thinking about doing. For instance the ongoing discussions we had about a workshop. Steve, what you bring to the table is your kind ways and openness and willingness to do whatever. You are kind of like a sponge in that you listen and absorb our discussions. Your questions are always thoughtful as are you comments.
Again I need to take a special moment to thank our friend…my friend Gail Davies for sticking with us when she has clearly been overwhelmed with her own business and life. Gail you quietly just keep chugging along like the energizer bunny and believe me it is appreciated more than you will ever know! I am so grateful that you just do what needs to be done without hesitation and in the timely manner that is necessary. I shared a story at our last Board meeting about a Society that had lost their non-profit status simply because paperwork was not filled in time. I know I speak for each of us on the Board that we never ever have to think about that because Gail just does. We are eternally grateful to you and for all of your years of service to the FMNFS.
And so my friends, thank you again for continuing to renew your memberships to your Society!
Marnie Tetz, President FMNFS
For the period of February 1, 2017 – January 31, 2018
Presented May 5th, 2018
Good Morning Everybody and thank you for taking this time on your Saturday to join us for our 2018 AGM for the Forget Me Not Family Society.
This past year has taken on a new format for the Society in that we now truly in a ‘caretaker’ mode. We have held one Board meeting which was pretty much just an opportunity for the Board to touch base on what has or has not been going on as well as for each of us to hear from Gail about our financial situation and where we stand with our membership. Also at that meeting we talked about possibly holding a very scaled back version of a workshop. Suggestions were made and there will be further discussion after the AGM and our lunch break.
At our last AGM we had several members of the executive return as well as returning Board members. Three new people join us, Dena Sutherland as Secretary and Steve Ell and Stephanie Collette as members of the Board. Unfortunately Dena and Stephanie were unable to take part in our only Board meeting, and since Stephanie has withdrawn her name from the Board. We do appreciate the interest that Dena, Steve and Stephanie showed in the Society and we also understand that sometimes life can get in the way with making a commitment.
A few social events took place during the summer of 2017. We held 2 well attended lunches, one in South Surrey at the beautiful Peace Portal Gold Course and the other at the Fraser Glen Golf Course in Abbotsford, B.C. We also had an impromptu lunch in Fort Langley when a past member popped into town. Each of these lunches gave us all a chance to catch up and learn more about our Forget Me Not family members.
We are still holding 2 Support Group meetings a month. This past year has been a challenge for Nancy in New Westminster as the meeting room she has used forever became unavailable due to renovations at the library. However Nancy has been able to secure locations for meetings so they could continue. Audrey do you have any update on this and the timeline? Cloverdale held its last meeting in December and has since moved to Abbotsford and is working on a venue still meeting on the same night and time. The plan is to continue to hold this support group in the Eastern Fraser Valley.
At this time I would like to thank our executive for another year of keeping the Society going in the new capacity we have taken on. Thanks to Bernadette for taking on the role of Vice President, and to Gail for keeping our money in order, the necessary paperwork filed for our non-profit status and for sending out the membership reminders. Amy, thank you for keeping our website going and for updating it with meeting places and also information on which province has most recently opened records. Thanks to Michael for hanging in there with us as we made this transition. Rian thanks for your suggestions with where and how we should hold this AGM, I think holding it in a restaurant was a great idea and between you and I we settled on a pretty good halfway point for a lot of us. Steve thanks for hanging in there with us during this year your thoughtful way of listening, asking questions and making suggestions has been appreciated.
I can’t end my message without saying just a bit more about my friend…our friend, Gail. Gail you are more than the treasurer and kind of acting secretary. You are the true backbone and history of this Society. You have been here since before day one always going quietly about your business of keeping us in business. We appreciate you more than words could ever say. I always like it when someone thinks they are coming up with a new idea and then you can share with us that ‘well actually’ which means that idea was probably one that had been suggested in one of the many years passed and that it was tried and probably didn’t work out all that well. I love hearing from you Gail when you talk about the huge conferences that the Society once held and how our past Presidents Cecelia Reekie and Nancy Kato were both so nervous and now they are both such fabulous public speakers!
And on that note once again I would like to thank our members for sticking with us the Society takes thing a bit slower but still with the care and concern we have always felt for those of us in this thing called adoption.
Marnie Tetz, President FMNFS
For the period of February 1, 2016 – January 31, 2017
Presented April 29th, 2017
Good morning all! I am pleased to be here in person this year and have the chance to see all of you! The past year my family and friends really were amazing in how they helped and cared for me. And, the silver lining is that my ‘aloof’ 17 year old cat now LOVES his mummy and isn’t afraid to show it! Lol
This past year has gone by quickly with not much to report from the Board. Since the AGM we have held two Board meetings via conference call. We have discussed the future of the Society and the consensus was that the Board members were willing to stay on in their positions but in a smaller capacity – meaning that we would basically be ‘caretakers’ of the Society and not taking on any new projects. The one change would be that Gail would no longer be the Secretary/Treasurer moving forward after this AGM. FMNFS member, Dena Shea has agreed to put her name forward for the position of Secretary and Gail would continue on as our Treasurer. Dena has sat in on the two Board meetings that we have held. Any other Society business has been dealt with using email.
The New Westminster and Cloverdale support groups have continued with attendance being smaller, however when the group is smaller we can have some deeper discussions take place. Fortunately Rian Martin has been able to help facilitate the Cloverdale group while I was recovering from my accident. Cloverdale has also gone back to the format of taking the summer months – July and August off. With the inclement weather the January and February meetings were cancelled. Since I am now living in Chilliwack the Board has also started a discussion of perhaps alternating locations for the Cloverdale group with suggestions of Aldergrove and Abbotsford being suggested. The small Interior group has not met for some time due to some of the participants having moved from the area.
On October 12th, member Catherine Moore presented to the Master’s Class of Social students at UBC. This was the fourth time that the FMNFS was invited to do so. The invitation came at a very late date which didn’t allow Bernadette time to prepare the presentation and panel members. Because of this it was agreed to invite Catherine Moore, a reunited adoptee as well as being a registered clinical counsellor with a master’s degree in Counselling Psychology who specializes in adoption issues and therapy, to be our presenter. The feedback we received from Dr. Kruk at UBC about Catherine’s presentation was:
“First of all thank you for recommending Catherine; we all really enjoyed her presentation and discussion. The students learned a lot and really appreciated the opportunity to discuss in depth the questions they formulated before the presentation. “
I would say another successful event took place thanks to Bernadette and Catherine Moore!
The other event that took place was of a very informal and social type. Bernadette, myself and two members of the Society went to Victoria for three nights to visit with six members who live there. We spent the 3 days meeting whoever was available for chats, walks, meals and a bit of shopping. It was another way to connect with members to enable them to express their thoughts and feelings on their adoption reunion journeys. It was time well spent.
We also had two luncheons. In July we met at the Glen Golf Course in Abbotsford and in August we met at Peace Portal Golf Course in South Surrey. These lunches were well attended by 12 to 15 members and we managed to chat and eat for a good four hours each time. Everyone who attended agreed that this is something we should do more often!
Amy has been looking after our website. Keeping it updated with new information.
Our Adoption Circles newsletter has been emailed to members with the exception of mail outs for those members who have wished to receive a hardcopy. Since our last AGM we have published 3 issues that as always have been thought provoking and with a professional touch put to the layout. Thanks to Bernadette and Amy for all of your hard work and to Gail for your eagle eyes with the final edit. The AC is going to be missed by many.
It is with great sadness that we are accepting the fact that the Society that we all know and love is going to be on hiatus. Last year at the AGM there was much discussion about what we should do and at that time it had been decided that the Forget Me Not Family Society would be dissolved as of January 31st, 2017. As I have already said in the following Board meetings we had agreed that we would continue on in our positions if we are again elected, however we will be caretaking rather than being active. The Society will continue with the support groups, the website will be maintained and the phone will also remain active. Like so many other organizations, Parent Finders being one of them, we will remain available to help those in need of support.
Now my favourite part – to thank the Board for all of their work and support over the past year.
Rian’s previous experience from other Boards has helped a lot in some of our decision making during meetings. And as I have already said your willingness to step up and facilitate the Cloverdale meetings is greatly appreciated! I appreciate also the times that you have called to make suggestions about the Cloverdale meeting places and your willingness to make calls if need be. Thanks so much for your support!
Michael…I appreciate your thoughtful ideas for what we should be doing in this time of change. I also appreciate your offer to facilitate the Cloverdale meeting.
Amy your tireless efforts on the newsletter have made it very appealing to the eye while creating a format that flows from one article to the next. I am going to miss seeing it. Thank you for all the hours you have put into it! I also appreciate the time that you have put into the updating of the website. It was getting tired and now it’s easy to navigate and informative. The time that you have put into both of these important pieces isn’t lost on any of us!
Bernadette, your thoughtful efforts on the AC have made it a first class publication and it is with sadness that we are seeing our last one. However I understand that you have so many other things in life to do, your family, friends and all of your hobbies are calling. It’s time to give them your full attention! Also the time and energy that you have put into the UBC presentations have I believe helped some future social workers enter their field with their eyes more wide open to what adoption really means. Thank you so much for all of your help and support!
And as always, last, but never least, Gail. What can I say other than thank you for your years…YEARS!!! Of work for the Forget Me Not Family Society. You have been keeping the books for…25 plus years? You quietly pay our bills, file our statements, keep track of memberships and on and on and on! Not to mention keeping the minutes and organizing our AGM’s each time you have worn the two hats of secretary AND treasurer. I know I am not alone in thanking you for all that you have done over the years. Unfortunately I still haven’t gotten the hang of the financials, thankfully for everyone else we have you to look after them and not me!
I would also like to thank the members of the Board for being willing to stay on in a caretaking role. Over the next year we will see how this plays out and in 2018 perhaps there will be something new…
Thanks to our members who have stuck by us in this tough time of transition. It’s not easy for you, I know. What does it all mean? Honestly we don’t really know other than we are still going to be here with our support groups and as I’ve said website. We aren’t going away. We will still be here, just in a smaller way.
Thanks to Michael for offering to host our AGM here in his amenities building and for making this amazing lunch! I hope you all enjoy! Thanks for being here!
Presented at the Annual General Meeting April 30, 2016
by Marnie Tetz
Hi everyone and welcome to the Forget Me Not Family Society’s 2016 Annual General Meeting.
It’s obvious our format is a bit different this year as I am having to Skype in to attend. On March 16th I started out on a short hike to Cascade Falls in Mission and ended up being brought out by firemen and ambulance attendants after slipping. They were amazingly kind and gentle making my ride down in the basket as smooth as Splash Mountain! That’s what I was envisioning in my mind as I kept my eyes closed on the ‘ride’! I had fractured my right leg and left foot. The patella had shifted slightly but thankfully not enough to require surgery. I had X-rays and saw my doctor on Thursday and thankfully am cast-free and ready for rehab!!!
OKAY! Enough about me! I will now share with you what your Board has been up to in the last year. We have been meeting on an almost monthly basis with conference calls to discuss where we are going as a Society. You may remember at our last AGM there was a lengthy discussion about our vision of where the FMNFS was going. We talked about the newsletter being phased out as a hard copy version and going to an email delivery system. We also talked about revamping the website, making it more user friendly and easier to find on the web. The other topic was rebranding of the Society. Perhaps changing the name to better reflect what it is that we do. At that meeting we also welcomed two new Board members, Rian Martin and Michael Hodgson.
At our first Board meeting following the AGM we got to work on the issue of revamping the website, a job that Amy and Rian spearheaded. Other topics discussed were having a volunteer to monitor our Face Book group, what it would mean and what it would take to send the newsletter out via email only. We had listened to the suggestions made at the AGM and we went straight to work on them!
Nancy Kato took the lead with the Face Book group and consolidated from two to one. Thanks Nancy! And eventually Amy got us on track with a new website guru and our revamped website is up and running and looks great!
Speaking of the website, Amy has pretty well learned the ropes and is able to now make most of the updates herself. Instead of a name change Amy has incorporated ‘Adoption Reunion Support Network’ into our website to indicate what it is that we actually do. Hopefully this is making it easier to find us on the web. Huge thanks to Amy for running with this!
Our next yearly job was planning and organizing our annual fall workshop. Thanks to Gail for helping me with the contracts and the organizing of this event! We were thrilled to have author, filmmaker and adoptee Ann Fessler present for us. This had been a workshop a few years in the making and FINALLY it happened. The event was very well received in part because of Ann’s outgoing personality and sense of humour.
However, before enjoying the workshop we had another event to work on. That was our presentation at UBC to the Masters class of social work students. For the third year Bernadette put together an amazing learning experience. As in the previous years, Bernadette made the introductions and Nancy Kato was our moderator. Nancy wore two hats this time, one as moderator and the other by presenting from experiences her as a birth mother. Michael Hodgson and I were the adoptees with Michael sharing his story in depth. I must say he ‘grabbed’ the audience. Rian Martin shared his perspective as a birth and adoptive father. We had an amazing group of students who asked many questions and shared their thoughts. The afternoon flew by and I would say was possibly the best event of the three held so far. Thanks to Bernadette and the panel!
Of course my report wouldn’t be complete without thanking our Board for all of their time and efforts with the Society.
Thanks to Rian for putting his name forward and joining the Board. You have volunteered to take on various jobs from seeing what you could do to eliminate our Cloverdale library rent, which unfortunately wasn’t possible, to contacting various media organizations to promote the workshop. Because of this Bernadette and I were interviewed for an article which eventually appeared in the Peace Arch News in White Rock and South Surrey, BC. Many thanks Rian for your support this past year and for facilitating a few of the meetings in Cloverdale.
Thanks also to Michael for joining us on the Board and for your thoughtful suggestions on money saving ideas. For a small nonprofit that is always a good thing! We also appreciated your honesty when you shared with us that you needed to step back from your commitment to the Board because of your busy work and personal commitments.
Amy! Your continued work on the newsletter has made it better than ever if that’s possible. Your attention to detail to pull it all together with the quotes, pictures and graphics you choose. Also your stick-with-it to update the website is very much appreciated! Thank you!!!
Bernadette! Working with you is a pleasure! (Well…working with all of you is a pleasure!!!). Your continued commitment to the educational program via the UBC presentations is so important! Even if one of those students is grabbed by what they hear and learn then a difference will be made in how adoption is viewed. Continuing to have these presentations is so important! And of course your tireless work along with Amy on the AC. The topics are amazing and how you research and write your editorials always brings the issue together making for insightful reading and learning for our readers. Thank you!
Last, but by no means least, is Gail. What would we do without you??? You balance our books, file the paperwork with the government, and send out notices for renewals to our membership in your quiet unassuming way as you always have. And for the last four years you have also worn the hat of secretary. This meant keeping the minutes of each board meeting and the last four, now five AGMs. I don’t want to think about how we could possibly be without you. So for now I won’t. I will just offer my thanks to you for all you do!
Finally I want to thank our members who have stuck with us. You have kept up your memberships, attended our workshops and support groups. Remember, this is your Society made up of your people who GET what it is to walk in your shoes and to feel the highs and lows of adoption search and reunion. We know the dance steps and what it’s like when we are waltzing but our other is doing the twist or even sitting the whole dance out. We get it.
We want to continue to be here to support you and the others that will come after you. To do so we need your help to keep going! Several of your long time Board members are running out of steam and we need you to step up to the plate to keep us going!
Thank you for being here today!
[Editor’s Note: This is Marnie’s review of the previous year, which was presented at the beginning of the meeting and does not convey the sadness and emotion we felt at having to make our decision, after our discussion about the future of the society.]